fear, life, and midwives.

I am so excited to be pregnant! I am so excited to go through this incredible miracle of life. The fact that I have a little baby growing inside of me is still astonishing, and actually not quite real yet. I'm so eager to learn more, I feel a little unprepared and a little uneducated, but who wouldn't. The funny thing is that I never really wanted to read on pregnancy stuff before because I was always worried about getting my hopes up and then not getting pregnant, etc. So now I have a ton of "researching" to do, ha ha. I have to stop being so fearful. God has not given us a spirit of fear or timidity, but a spirit of power. I have to trust & have faith in the almighty power and will of the Lord, and stop being worrisome and fearful. This is something I am really going to focus on over the next 9 months.

We've only told our immediate families so far. We are waiting until we go to the first actual prenatal checkup. Which seems to be getting here slower than ever. We are meeting with our midwife on the 22nd. Speaking of "midwives". When I've told people in my family we are using a midwife instead of a traditional ob-gyn, they immediately get this look on their face of worry. But I really am not worried. I have talked to my ob-gyn about it, and this is who she recommended, our midwife actually delivered our doctors' babies, and all of the ladies that work at the doctor's office. I am not going to do an at home birth or anything like that, I can still be at the hospital and have any drugs I want..... I am really excited to meet her in person and to start that whole journey. At our first appointment I think we will be able to hear the heart beat, which will make it all oh so real!