the dairy and soy diaries...
Norah has been fussier again lately it seems. Still has super happy moments, but just overall a bit more fussy. I finally decided to go ahead and test her poop again. I debated before as you know and I never ended up doing it, ugh. So, after some interesting looking diaper changes, I tested one of them on Tuesday and we got the results back yesterday and it was positive for blood :(. I am so disappointed. I thought we were over this battle and onto a new one, but apparently we weren't yet.
I feel like it's my fault, because like I said I wasn't specifically adding things back into my diet (other than goat cheese as the Dr. recommended) however I have been more relaxed with my decisions at restaurants. Never adding cheese, butter, cream, milk specifically; but I would have a bit of guacamole that might have sour cream in it, or a piece of bread that could have a bit of milk. And I took a couple of bites of a homemade cookie with butter and butterscotch chips in it this past week. I have also started adding Glucosamine back in because my joints have really been bothering me, I wonder if that is affecting her too?
So needless to say, I am feeling sorry for our little Norah, and frustrated and disappointed. Another reason I am frustrated is because I've been faithfully saving milk up each day in the freezer, and it looks like I will be dumping it all out. Ugh, I'm so busy as it is, and I just see that as hours and hours being poured down the drain.
to sleep or not to sleep...
The night before last Norah had the worst night she has ever had. I thought it was just because she had learned to stand up and sit up in her crib, but looking back I wonder if her tummy was really hurting :( She was up probably 10-12 times (although the last 4 or 5 were like one big blur of awakeness from 4 am - 6am.) A lot of those times I would go in to her crying and sitting or standing up, then I would lay her back down and sit with her until she fell asleep, I would leave, and then 15-30 minutes later she would pop back up again and cry.
You would think after a horrible night, Norah would nap great, nope, not my superhuman daughter. She slept a whopping 30 mins in the early am, and another 30 mins (in the car) in the afternoon, and THAT'S IT. Every time I would try to lay her down she would squirm around and pop right up, I would lay her back down once, but didn't want to get in an up and down struggle I would certainly lose. I let her cry for 45 mins. I would go in and check on her every few minutes, but she was relentless and finally after 45 minutes of awfulness, I went in and turned the lights on and acted like the nap was over. This 45 minutes was horrible, the longest and hardest 45 minutes of my life. At the time, I didn't know about the positive blood test, or I never would have done that. And now, I feel horrible about that as well.
Last night was better than the night before, but still pretty bad. But hey, better than the night before. We fed Norah a bottle before bed that was from January's milk to give me some more time to get whatever was bothering her out of my system. She still was sitting and standing up frequently, but not near as much of a struggle, and relatively little crying, (I spent a lot of time in the chair next to her crib with my hand on her :))
I am second guessing my gut feelings. I was about to let Norah cry last night, until we got the blood test back, and I'm so glad I didn't. Because the first night I truly have to let her cry (with checking in on her or being in there) will last forever. Norah isn't a cry for 20 minutes then fall asleep for the rest of the night kind of girl, I am sure of that. I am really praying for peace and strength and clarity through this all.
Through out all of this, I take one look at her adorable smile, or have her cuddle up to me once, and it makes it worth it. I love her so much and I'm so thankful to be her mommy. I know God only gives us what we can handle, and I'm truly honored that he thinks I can handle her!! Enjoy these pics from the past few days.
Norah sitting on Em's lap playing with daddy at dinner.
A classic Norah grin.
awww.
blurry I know, but too cute to resist posting. she had just speed crawled over and grabbed the remote that she knows she isn't allowed to play with and just shoved it in her mouth and giggled.
No comments:
Post a Comment